SUPERBOWL XLV: AN AMERICAN CELEBRATION: PART II:: Underdogs, Ketchup and the Battle of Bunker Hill

In honor of the most American Superbowl matchup of all time, Nosebleed Rumblings has devoted the week to the Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers. "Underdogs, Ketchup and the Battle of Bunker Hill" is Part Two in a six part series. Click here for Part One.


CHAMPIONS OF THE UNDERDOG CITY

A sunny summer day in Pittsburgh.

Pittsburgh: the name alone resonates with a factory-tainted haze, a thick smog of impenetrable sadness. And in true underdog fashion, Pittsburgh isn't even the coolest underdog city in the unbearably boring state of Pennsylvania. Unfortunately, that dubious honor belongs to Philadelphia, city that spawned Rocky, the guy Mark Whalberg played in that Philadelphia Eagles movie, and the nation's most loathed fanbase. 


But Pittsburgh's battle-scarred citizens have rallied around their city's second-class designation, facing the world with a fierce loyalty for the Steelers, Penguins and...well, not the Pirates, whose biggest contribution to baseball in the last 50 years has been Barry Bonds...everything else Pittsburgh. Backed by the hungry pride of its eternally chip-shouldered fan base, the Steelers approach every game as if they're a small band of Continental soldiers fighting for their beloved Bunker Hill. Which brings us to...

KETCHUP & THE BATTLE OF BUNKER HILL

The Steelers protect Heinz Field from enemies of America.

The Steelers do in fact fight for their own Bunker Hill; it’s called Heinz Field. Holy God, are you listening? Every weekend between September and January, the Steelers don the black and gold to defend their realm. And every weekend, the blood seeping from their battle wounds mixes with the sweet syrupy ketchup that Heinz doles out to every diner, burger joint, steakhouse and lunch counter in America. 

Before there was soy sauce, salsa and Subway, there was ketchup. And as long as Pittsburgh's proud ketchup crusaders continue to wage weekend wars against ingredients of evil that relentlessly threaten our national diet, America's holiest tomato-based condiment will march strongly into the sunlight of each new morning.

TOMORROW: PART III:: Keep the Change, We'll Keep Lambeau & Blessed be Thy Lord Cheesus

-By Brian Beer