SUPERBOWL XLV: AN AMERICAN CELEBRATION: PART I:: The Most American Superbowl of All Time...Ever

America is under attack. Under an onslaught of evil from freedom-haters like Wal Mart, Twitter, the Kardashian family, Wife Swap and Osama Bin Laden, it’s easy to forget that this great nation was founded on two pillars of strength that still stand strong today: Steel and Cheese.

Forget X’s and O’s: Within the mythology of the National Football League and the United States of America, this is the best Superbowl matchup in not only the history of the world, but also America. 

The Panthers would win more football
games if they stopped playing Tron
and started playing football.

Today, the National Football League is plagued 

with space-age, futuristic franchises like the Seattle Seahawks, Jacksonville Jaguars, Atlanta Falcons and Carolina Panthers. These technological organizations pay running backs who wear TRON-like visors under their helmets. They employ robo-hybrid quarterbacks who laser passes to receivers wearing numbers in the teens, not 80s. They are as artificial as the newest flavor of Mountain Dew and as fleeting as the sugar rush from a 24 oz. Monster Energy drink. With no history to fall back on when times are tough, their identity is as empty as a brand new McMansion lacking a strong, loving American family to fill it. 

I could go on about these soulless, futuristic organizations, and one lazy summer day, when the sun is high and we've got a fresh cooler of cold Buds out by the lake, I will. But today, we need to stop and celebrate a Superbowl matchup that rings with the promise of a country that may have momentarily lost its way, but will never yield: the United States of America. 

Steelers: Burly men steeling stuff in the mill all day. Packers: Sweaty breadwinners packing stuff in the factory all day. How blue collar is that? And what's more American than being a blue-collar fighter, enduring through the day with clenched teeth and bloody knuckles?  We've always adhered to good ol', plain and simple, hard-working, common-man, apple pie values (hell yeah, Sarah Palin). So in preparation for the greatest Superbowl showdown in history, Nosebleed Rumblings presents a five-day celebration of the Americanness of these two proud franchises: 

Lambeau Field honors America. This week,
America should honor Lambeau Field.

Wednesday: The Eternal Underdog; Ketchup: The Lifeblood of America

Thursday: Keep the Change, We'll Keep Lambeau; Blessed be Thy Lord Cheesus

Friday: America's First Family; Battle-Tested Tradition

Saturday: Reinvention: Miller High Life and the Green Bay Packers; Mike McCarthy and the American Colonist During the Revolutionary War

Sunday: A Pittsburgh Steelers Textbook to American History; True Blue-Collar Athletes

Grab a cold one, kick back on the couch, and begin your celebration of American glory right here with Nosebleed Rumblings. And remember: no matter what the outcome of Superbowl of XLV, we're all winners in America. 

-Brian Beer